| 27 weeks preggers |
[03 Nov 2009|12:41am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 content |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
the night |
] |
I was reading all my old entries from like 2003. Man, I really liked him. Its weird when I really think about everything. He's all I wanted back then...and now...7 years later...he's here with me despite my 2 1/2 year old and #2 on the way. Like...why does he still like me? I was with daniel for 4 years and never....i dunno. Im just gonna enjoy this and hope it lasts for awhile cuz I do like him a lot. He's weird...makes me smile lol. bfdjksbfkjsdbfkdsabfksjbf lol i dunno. im going to sleep. love you.
|
|
| ikea 2010 kitchens |
[12 Oct 2009|10:03pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 dorky |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
tv in the bacground |
] |
I got an apartment with a good friend of mine. Its pretty neato. I like it. Its bare, but not as bare as it was a week ago. We went on a little ikea shopping spree. Now we have a futon! who doesnt lol. Dylan likes it. Im working full time tho so it seems like hes always at my moms. He doesnt love me anymore! Hes such a handsome little boy. I absolutely adore my little dyl pickle. Babys doing good. 24 weeks. 6 months. I can feel her kick a lot more. Umm...Im gonna go watch field of dreams. The end.
|
|
| dont use my name as an adjective |
[12 Sep 2009|01:25am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 indescribable |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
sports center...mj in the hall of fame |
] |
Its weird how quick ones life can just flip. I should be used to it by now...seems like it happens all the time. So...lots of new stuff. Some that i regret and some that are alright and some that are gonna change my flippin life...again, lol. Ill try and sum it all up with as little words as possible.
Right now is probably not the best time to be updating.
I messed up earlier this year. Im good now.
Dylans 2 1/2....hes so big! learning new things everyday...its pretty amazing seeing your own child learn. Oh, and the things he picks up on...lol. Kids really do say and do the dardest things...go figure...lol.
Guess what? On sunday i'll be 20 weeks pregnant! Ceazy x2! How am I gonna do it??? Same way I did it before lol. I find out the sex of the baby on monday. Im hoping girl but all a mom really wants is a healthy child. Cant ask for more than that. Halfway there.
Okay thats all for now.
miss ya
|
|
| okey dokey |
[26 Feb 2009|07:16pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 chipper |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
god love her. toby keith |
] |
this is gonna be quick. dylan turns 2 next week! hes such an amazing kid. im happy with my life. in love...deeply with both my boys. practically married...i think its called engaged. lol. lets just say theres a ring on my ring finger and i like it, lol. ummm...i start college in april. criminal justice. life will get better, slowly but surely. my parents will come around eventually. thats all for now, gotta go. love you d&d...always and forever.
May 8 2009...Mark that date. Send a wedding gift if youd like, lol.
909 212 9880....text me or call me. I got unlimited everything lol.
happy early birthday bri and caitlin...
|
|
| Smoke cigarettes til the day she dies |
[20 Jun 2008|12:33am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
im good |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
We werent crazy. Josh gracin |
] |
im meeting up with christen on saturday for breakfast. Im excited. Havent seen her in years. That reminds me...i was supposed to call matt so we could hang out. Havent seen him since 06, but i talk to him all the time. Kandice is coming down in october. Buuuut...best of all, ill be able to see my baby in a little over 3 months. My love. Then i'll have both my boys for the rest of my life and ill be happy, right? I gave up on someone else. He has someone and i dont want to fuck that up. Plus i love dmz. I really do. A lot. Mrs Zirkle? Kristin M. Zirkle...hmm
|
|
| make sure you stop cuz im coming through |
[02 Jun 2008|09:41pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 thoughtful |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
angels post game ANALYSIS |
] |
i just realized something. Our anniversary IS june 8th. I thought it was may 8th. I was wrong and HE was right. Are guys the ones that are supposed to forget? lol hey at least it gives me time to send him a card. Angels 2 outs away from a w. I found you cb, kinda. Oh, frankie just got #22.
|
|
| none |
[08 Apr 2008|04:31pm] |
dylan's a year old. it's so weird still, but i'm enjoying it.
actually, he's 13 months. lol
i should be moving to cali. well, im in cali right now. i don't think i have to go back to vegas anymore. i hope not. im happy here.
where are you cb?
|
|
|
[19 Feb 2008|06:54pm] |
|
dylans almost a year old.
|
|
| USC vs. Arizona State |
[22 Nov 2007|07:02pm] |
|
I havent updated in a long ass time.
Dylan's 8 months old!!! He's so big. I can't believe how much he's grown. He doesnt really look like me...he looks almost exactly like his pops.
It's so cute...he already said his first word...kinda. He says "arthur, arthur, arthur." I dont know where he got that from, though. He says "mom" too...but only when he's hungry, lol.
Im going back to cali. I dont think we're going to GA. We went over the summer. We'll prob just move to Covina. Yeah.
I dont really know what to say. I miss you-know-who so bad. Soon enough.
happy thanksgiving everyone.
oh, yeah....new number (909) 510-2085. I answer texts more than calls cuz it's a pre-paid. Yeah, Im a broke ass momma.
|
|
| THANK HEAVEN FOR LITTLE BOYS <3 |
[20 Apr 2007|08:36pm] |
DYLAN NATHAN
MARCH 6 2007
8.03 AM
8 POUNDS
19'1/4
IM A NEW MOMMY
IT HURT LIKE HELL BUT IT WAS WORTH IT
MY BABY BOY WILL BE 7 WEEK IN A COUPLE DAYS
I LOVE HIM SO MUCH
IT LOOKS LIKE ME AND RABBIT MADE A PRETTY CUTE BUNNIE
EVERYONE SHOULD HAVE KIDS ITS GREAT (TALK ABOUT ALL NIGHTERS))
|
|
| i'll wait for you |
[01 Mar 2007|08:21pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 anxious |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
rodney atkins...watching you |
] |
I might be having a baby this sunday.
wow
Im so scared. My parents and sisters are coming this weekend and my mom and sisters are staying for a few weeks to help me out. Im so nervous!!! Its gonna hurt so bad.
my little dylan nathan.
pray to god everything turns out alright.
found out for sure daniel's locked up for 2 years in tapha...tathapi...i cant remember what its called. I have it written down. His mom says he's doing really well...that makes me happy. I hope everything turns out alright. Im willing to wait those 2 years for him. Maybe we can start a family someday...thatd make me happy...dylan too, lol. I just wish my parents could give him a second chance. Time will tell.
omg...Im having contractions!! lol...ok, not really...im just practicing. how am I going to know for sure when its time?
god bless everyone
dylan...my son...still hasnt kicked in.
|
|
| goodbye to you, goodbye to everything that I knew |
[02 Jan 2007|03:44pm] |
Im not in rehab anymore. Im still in mexico, though.
we´re leaving on friday, but im not going back to chino. im never going back. my parents are sending me to las vegas for about 3 months and after that we´re buying a house in atlanta.
so, my baby boy will be born in vegas.
i feel so sad all the time.
im not going back to daniel.
yeah, life will never be the same.
|
|
|
[14 Nov 2006|12:34pm] |
I gotta make this quick cuz Im not supposed to be online.
GUESS WHERE THE FUCK IM AT?
A Drug Rehabilitation Center
for smoking crystal meth.
this is my 2nd center. I was transferred here from another center.
IVE BEEN LOCKED UP SINCE JUNE 21st!
Oh my god, I cant take it anymore. Ill be out soon, though. December 21st. By order of the courts I have to complete a 6 month drug rehabilitation program or else I get 5 years of jail...blah blah blah.
I havent seen daniel since june 21st
guess what else? this is exciting, lol
IM 24 WEEKS PREGNANT. It's going to be a boy. I found out while in rehab. I wanna name him Dylan Riley...Dylan Riley Zirkle. Aww, I cant believe Im going to be a mommy. My expected due date is March 7th.
Weird, huh?
So yeah, I got, like, a little more than a month left of this rehab shit and then Im freeeeeee.
daniel's locked up for 6 months too...but in jail.
I miss daniel so much. i love my babys daddy.
no more crystal meth for me.
oh yeah, to make things worse...Im in mexico city. my mom brought me all the way over here cuz she was afraid i was gonna escape, lol. now, i cant escape cuz i got no money and no identification to cross the border. oh well, im almost done. i miss my house. my family.
aww...im gonna be a mommy.
|
|
| pickles are bad |
[19 Jun 2006|06:16pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 feelin' more than alright |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
my lil sis playin the piano |
] |
I love daniel...even if he doesnt
here daniel, type something: but i do love u kristin baylee zirkle my wife always and forever nor death do us part
aww, he just wrote that. i love his punk ass. my bunny. lol.
my f'ing mom has my state disability check, how am I supposed to pick up without a fucking check?
I wanna get spun before they take me in tomorrow. jk. I just wanna see what my pickle-and-goldfish-breath boyfriend would say. I love you.
court tomorrow at 8. i gotta show up this time. just got plead guilty and say ill enroll myself into a rehab center within 30 days.
yeah yeah yeah.
we're at amys house right now. me. amy. daniel. my sister diane. my sister monica. iits fun for some reason. i miss these times. we used to kick it with amy all the time. watch, ill remind amy of mcdonalds right now.
lol. this makes no sense, but thats alright, cuz im in a good mood and that all that matters right now. :)
alright, im gonna go now.
i love you guys and hope each and every single person who reads this has a marvelous, splendid, magnificent, downright bombass day. take care y'all. smile, laugh, love, and have fun.
xoxo
kr!s
PS- hi becky. just felt like sayin that dont know why
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARK AND ALEX!!! If you read this, lez-bo, tell markie I said happy b-day and love him lots and hope he's drummin alright, lol. take care
:)
|
|
| maybe if you didnt stay up all night |
[14 Jun 2006|11:28am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 spun? |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
kenny chesney- summertime |
] |
ha, aint life a bitch and a half.
been living on the streets for the past 3 months...literally living on the streets. staying at parks. it sucks ass. this is so not me.
what the fuck happened to me?
was in jail...again, not me
gta
got court on the 20th...if i dont go to rehab before then im gonna get locked up again for awhile. im so fucking retarded. god, i never thought this would happen to me. im such a fucking lowlife good for nothing junkie
still with daniel. always will be
lifes so different...been through so much, most stuff i wish i didnt have to deal with
wow...spun
see what happens when you get hooked on meth?
its not fun. dont do it
i need some shit...i want some shit...i have some shit
what a loser, huh?
hope youre all good
im sorry guys
sorry for letting everyone down
hey, at least i get state disability for being at the nuthouse
how embarassing is that?
dont end up like me, dont ever touch dope. meth sucks...but i cant get away from it...well, i can handle it to a certain level, but i admit i have a problem and need help
ok, see y'all
miss ya, cb
|
|
| yeah |
[14 Jun 2006|11:17am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
spun? |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
kenny chesney- summertime |
] |
ha, aint life a bitch and a half.
been living on the streets for the past 3 months...literally living on the streets. staying at parks. it sucks ass. this is so not me.
what the fuck happened to me?
was in jail...again, not me
gta
got court on the 20th...if i dont go to rehab before then im gonna get locked up again for awhile. im so fucking retarded. god, i never thought this would happen to me. im such a fucking lowlife good for nothing junkie
still with daniel. always will be
lifes so different...been through so much, most stuff i wish i didnt have to deal with
wow...spun
see what happens when you get hooked on meth?
its not fun. dont do it
i need some shit...i want some shit...i have some shit
what a loser, huh?
hope youre all good
im sorry guys
sorry for letting everyone down
hey, at least i get state disability for being at the nuthouse
how embarassing is that?
dont end up like me, dont ever touch dope. meth sucks...but i cant get away from it...well, i can handle it to a certain level, but i admit i have a problem and need help
ok, see y'all
miss ya, cb
|
|
| sheesh |
[24 Feb 2006|05:09pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
high |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
everyone talking |
] |
i was mad, but now im not
im actually feelin it.
spinderella.
|
|
| you make me wanna la la |
[03 Jan 2006|04:08pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 horny |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
xxl - keith anderson |
] |
Life is good at times and bad beyond belief at others.
New years was great. Me and daniel were "grounded" so my parents left us home alone and went up to sacramento. haha.
invited lisa, matt, ray, lauren, jenny, and fernie over and had a new years spun-a-thon. fernie and jenny left and lauren, matt, lisa, my babe, and me spent the night spinning and smoking bud. i love the smell of bud, but i prefer spinning.
First 2 days of this year were spent spun off my ass. Lost my voice from hitting the bong too much. I sound like ashlee simpson. Its kinda cool, lol.
Parents got back last night. Meh.
Oh yeah...me and daniel got arrested on friday. We were going to pick up and the guy wasnt home so we parked in a cul-de-sac (sp?) thing and a cop drove by and came back and searched us and shit. It was an 85 jet black monte carlo with blue neon lights underneath. the driver was my sisters bf...all gangsta'd out. parked in the middle of the street. on a friday night. we were gonna go up to lytle creek, so we had all our shit on us. 2 bongs. 4 pieces. a bunch of empty baggies. it sucked. the cop let me and my bf go into my dads custody, though. we got tickets and gotta go to court in march. fucking thing. oh, and they took my fucking purse with all my makeup. i covered for my sister, though. i dont want her getting caught up in shit like that.
anyway...daniel should be getting home soon. i wanna go up to lytle creek. we're always there.
i forgot what i was gonna say...
daniels home. im happy. :)
|
|
|
[12 Dec 2005|05:05pm] |
sp sp sp sp sppppun as a mother fucker.
i found someone who sells 8balls for 70000000000000000000 seventy dollas...nice.
im gonna go to the car wash and make some money from the change machines, lol.
i need a new piece too.
someone needs to pick up cuz i only got about a dub left. uh oh. lol
im so happy. fucking shit. lol.
|
|
|
[18 Nov 2005|01:48pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 depressed |
] |
words of wisdom:
dont do drugs.
NEVER take a hit of crsytal meth.
trust me, theyre illegal for a reason.
ive been on shit for about 2 years now and now i have nothing.
im on prozac...depressed out of my mind...cant do anything unless i got shit...everytime i get money, i spend it on shit. my bf's an addict too...thats even worse. i lost everything. no job. lost a 23,000 truck...my phone for awhile....my familys trust, a lot of friends, and worst of all...i lost my happiness and desire to live.
kris: the meth addict.
life aint so sweet in the passenger seat no more.
im gonna go take a couple of hits to drug induce a fake sense of happiness for a little. make life not seem so bad....make life as good as it was when i was sober.
i miss my life.
i love you daniel. you have until sunday to prove your love to me. dont hurt me cuz ill never love another.
make me or break me.
and just how much you hurt me, its hard to tell.
|
|
| we belong together |
[06 Oct 2005|07:27pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
special |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
my little sister and bf are talking....aint life precious |
] |
i love you daniel michael zirkle.
my trucks gone, but my babys by my side.
my boyfriends living with me. i get to see him all the time...and that makes me more than fucking happy. i love him so much. im gonna spend the rest of my life with him. im sure of it too.
we have our moments, but theyre not bad.
i love him...i need him. hes my everything.
honestly, if it werent for him, i dont think id be breathing right now. never been this in love before. im happy. i have nothing, but i have everything at the same time. i couldnt ask for a better person to share my life with.
someday, baby, you and i are gonna have the things that we need.
its getting better all the time.
my lifes starting, and my babys by my side...im ready to live.
thank you daniel.
lifes so sweet in the passenger seat.
and, of course...i live for little moments like that.
so cute.
|
|
| im gonna live where the green grass grows |
[20 Aug 2005|09:45pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
better |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
tim mcgraw -dont take the girl |
] |
I miss daniel so fucking much.
I got to see him the other day for, like, a couple of hours. We just walked around the park and talked.
It sucks that I cant even talk to him on the phone. Ive never missed someone so much in my life....I really do love him.
I kinda wish we were still living in my truck. Those 3 months that we lived together...just me and him....best 3 months ever...and they could have been even better if I hadnt been so afraid to let my heart make a move every once in awhile. I was afraid of being hurt...
Things are getting a little better....I think.
spin.
|
|
|
[16 Aug 2005|11:02pm] |
i feel like a fucking loser.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING VEHICLE.
no, wait, I DO.
my fucking truck is locked up and my dads non working truck is parked in front of it so that i cant drive it.
ITS MY FUCKING TRUCK THAT IM FUCKING PAYING FOR>
fuck man. i hate this. it fucking makes me more mad and fucking depressed. im still fucking paying for that truck....why ccant idrive it.
IM PAYING FOR IT>
IVE PAID EVERY CENT ON THAT TRUCK.
and yet its locked up so i cant drive it.
im allowed to go out, but i fucking hate having to ask for a ride. its fucking bullshit.
all i wanted was to go buy a lighter
fuck you world.
its times like these when i wish i was dead.
i had everything, and now im slowly losing it all....no, ive already lost it all.
im not a kid. you dont have to lock me up in the room all day.
i think im 5150
i feel like shooting myself
anxiety
fucking jumping out of the balcony
anger
throwing this fucking keyboard at yoour fucking head.
fuck you. i dont know what to do....everything fucking sucks...;nothing is good anymore,,.,there is not one thing that could make me happy right now.life is worthless...just like me. im a piece of fucking shit.
im gonna beat the shit out of my fucking pillow and then smoke it.
FUCK YYYO YOU
die.
|
|
|
[15 Aug 2005|07:15pm] |
I came 3 inches away from dying a couple of days ago. I swear to god. Ive never been that scared in my life. I never thought Id wake up. I thought I was going to be left there to rot.
I got to see Daniel. He called me on a sunday. I was with lisa and matt. We were gonna go pick up. He called from a private number, so I didnt answer. He left a voicemail. Never have I been that fucking happy after listening to a voicemail. His parents were going to be gone til 4pm, so I went over to his house. I got to see my baby. God damn...it was fucking great. The neighbors across the street told his mom, I guess. Me and him left in my truck. He was supposed to come back before his parents did. He came back 3 days later.
We were up at lytle creek one night. A gate to a road we had never gone through was open. We went through that path. It ended up going up a mountain. A very long...steep...and narrow path. We drove til we could drive no more. We ended up at the very top and went down a bit... on a cliff. The sand was way too soft. We tried to flip a bitch, but the truck kept sliding back...towards the edges. We couldnt go uphill...the tires were just digging in deeper. Weve been stuck a bunch of times, but we know what we're doing, so weve always managed to get out of it. This time we didnt. We almost fell off a bunch of times. I thought that was it. I kept trying to call for help, but no one could...they didnt realize how close we were to death. They were busy partying...or just too fucking lazy to drive up there and actually look for us.After about, maybe, 4 hours of fighting, arguing, jumping, sweating, pushing, steering, and crying (that was me)...we just gave up. We were on the very edge...overlooking the mountain. There were animals, so we stayed in the truck. We were too afraid to turn off the truck. We had the emergency lights on. We kept honking the horn. Kept calling for help. I swear, never have I been so mad and scared at the same time. My BEST friend called saying....oh, well, you know...i cant find a truck, but yeah...good luck. i gotta go wash my hair or something. Wow. Im glad my life meant something to her at that time.
I hadnt ate anything in...4-5 days. Nothing. Im serious. We had all been smoking....and we had no water. Daniel was getting dehydrated. He hadnt had his pills in maybe 2 days. He was starting to get all mad. He stopped being nice to me. Stopped caring about me. Id cry and hed tell me to shut the fuck up. Id think...he has 51 50...he doesnt have his pills...he smoked too much...he doesnt mean it...he still loves me. At about 10am we started walking down the mountain. Fuck that. After like 15 minutes I started getting dizzy...it was too hot, I needed water bad. We all did. We kept going...ended up at a dead end. I threw up spit. Daniel wouldnt wait for me. Holden was by my side. At a certain point...I couldnt go on anymore...I fell and blacked out for a few seconds. I woke up and saw daniel and holden up far ahead. I yelled for them to wait and come back. They said theyd come back when they got help. I cried for them not to leave me. They didnt listen. They just left me. I would walk and pass out...walk some more and throw up. I was dehydrated...crying...scared...mad. I felt so weak. I kept trying to call for help...but my phone was almost dead, and i barely had signal.
Let me make this quick. I ended up walking almost all the way down the mountain. And I swear to god....thats a fukcing long ass walk. The rangers didnt believe I could have walked that far. I dont even remember it. I just remember seeing police lights and being passed out on the floor. I guess I had sand in my mouth. They thought I had been shot. They gave me water and rescued me...this was all at fucking 10pm. I had been walking for almost 12 hours with no food or water. They actually said theyre surprised I lived. Lisa, matt, my sister and her bf had been looking for me for about 6 hours. they had the rangers help them. It took them way too long to find me. I kept giving up.
He didnt come back for me. He fucking left me on a mountain to die. ANd when he got saved...he told the rangers there was no one up there...just a truck. HE DIDNT FUCKING TELL THEM I WAS STILL FUCKING LOST. FUCKING DYING.
I don5 even know anymore. Sad part is...I stood up for him. I saw him that night and we slept at holdens.
Last time I saw him was the next morning.
I was so lost...so depressed...I didnt understand his explanation for leaving me. Said that if he had told the cops about me being up there they would have looked up his record and arrested him. He was going to come back the next day. Yeah right. He says he loves me now...he says all the right things...everything I feel for him...but I dont believe him.
I walked home without looking back at him. He shouldnt have let me walk. Even though this walk was through the city and nowhere near as bad as what I had experienced the night before...it was still a walk in the sun. I still hadnt fully recovered. I guess I passed out at oaks park. Some gangster lady found me and brought me water and chips. She asked if I was on meth. I was surprised she could tell. She gave me a ride home.
I wanna die. I wish I had died that day.
Daniels back at the nut house. He hasnt called me. I miss him like crazy. I wonder if Ill ever see him.
Nothing makes me happy. I havent laughed or smiled or anything in over a week now. I dont want to live. Im depressed. I dont wanna do anything.
Theyre returning my truck soon. Thats the one thing that kept me going...and now that its going to be gone, I have nothing. Ive paid about $9000 on that truck...I have about $15000 left to pay...and I cant, so its gonna be gone. I want my truck. So bad. Its dumb, but that truck means so much to me. I lived in it for 3 months. Memories. Now Im going to lose all the money I spent on it and have nothing.
I sit in my room and cry all day...smoke all night. Not even that sounds good sometimes.
I couldnt even type this out right. I cant express how bad I wanna just not do anything. I just wanna fucking die.
Not even "he" could make things right. He called me and I felt nothing.
It sucked.
Just...please....someone fucking shoot me or something. Im done. Im tired of hurting and being hurt.
I DONT WANT ANYTHING ANYMORE....damn. life sucks...and then you die.
I FUCKJING QUIOT
I
FUCKING
QUIT.
im not mad...just sad.
|
|
|
[01 Aug 2005|08:33pm] |
i miss you so fucking much daniel. I actually love him. I really do. I never got the chance to show how much I cared for him. He always showed his love and then more. I acted like a bitch sometimes. I was afraid of getting too attached and then ending up heartbroken. Its all my dads fault. Now hes stuck at his house...not allowed out...going to rehab. His parents think he needs professional help. Theyre tripping. Me and him lived together in a truck for over 2 months...not once did he show any sign of needing mental help. He had anger problems in the past and took pills for them, but he never needed them when we were together. Every fucking day with him was great. I mean, Im in major debt now cuz of everything, but I dont even fucking care. I love him. Miss him like crazy. Ive had that hole i my heart for a week now, since the last time I saw him, and...yeah...I dunnno. Havent been happy since then.
I miss spending the nights at Lyle creek with him. I loved that. He would kiss me and say it would help me get a beter hit...it was cute. We would just sit in my truck...middle of nowhere...well, lytle creek, but yeah...1am...just listening to music, drawing in our notebooks, lol, and getting spun. It was the best. I miss it. THen wed make the 30 minute drive back to chino at around 2:30am so Id be at work by 3 and Id have time to change and wash my face and brush my teeth and shit. I miss him. Theres so many things I wanna say.
I convinced my parents to let me back home...only because my lifes coming to a fucking end. Well, kinda.
The store where I work at is closing August 6th. No ones getting transferred, so that means...No Job.
No mone.
No money= no truck
I love my truck. Its weird. Thats all I need in life. My baby Daniel (Rabbit), my truck, and some shit.
Because of my dad fucking getting into peoples business, daniels back home. He was living here at the house with me the day I came back home. My dad loves him. My mom does too, but she hates that he has that "love" power over me. Yeah. I was mad, I went out with Lisa and left him here at the house. The next day...i dunno...my dad yelled at him when we were at my work. I was coming down...we were driving in my truck on my lunch break...I ended up leaving him on astreet corner...so fucked up...spent 2 days looking for him. I dont know. Hes called me, but my phones not working. I know he missses me too. Im gonna kidnap him.
I look all fucking sucked up, but its actually a good thing. Im getting skinnnier and skinnier and I love it. I wont get too skinny....yeah
what the fuck anm i talkin g about, i need to hit the pipe. been up for almost 4 days now. i hate being back at home. i want to live in my truck again. with daniel. my rabbit, i liked that.
3 months living in a truck. lol. it wasnt even hard...it just wasnt fun having to sneak into apartments pool shower thingies at 3am just to shower, but hey...gotta do what you gotta do.
alright, whatever, fuck you all. im gonna go sit in the bathroom for 2 hours. draw and smoke and cry. its what i do every day. i need to pick up. fucking smoked an eight ball in a day almost. its getting bad, but at least i get hooked up and have a good connect and i can handle it, so yeah.
im so fucked up. ive changed...but iyou have to know me to understand. ive changed for the better. i dunno...dont fucking judge me. if you knew me, youd like me. im a great person. im funny...nice...everything...i dont wanna type anymore. alright. done.
just to see you smile...id do anything.
i love you rabbit. i miss you.
|
|
|
[04 Jul 2005|06:49pm] |
i live in my truck and im about $3000 in debt.
now...break bread.
|
|
|
[19 May 2005|03:17pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
chillaxed |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
toby keth |
] |
I have this new group of friends that Ive been hanging out with for, like...maybe a week now. We would chill at the hanger at an airport cuz my friends dad a plane. We didnt d anything big, just chill and stuff.
Now we just hang out wherever. I really like them. Its cool too cuz past maybe 3-4 days its been me with all the guys. I like that. I dunno, I just think its cool being the only girl with a bunch of cute guys.
Plus, they all...yeah. And thats awesome.
Oh yeah, and they like country music and the backstreet boys and thats even more awesome.
spun as a mother.
|
|
|
[07 May 2005|08:57pm] |
but man, i still fucking love him so fucking much and thats why it pisses me off. i swear, im the stupidest fucking person ever.
i quit.
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
|
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
timsalmon's journal